Wednesday, September 24, 2008

::Hormones In Beer::

Scientists for Health Canada have suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men were fed six pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

True Story.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

::Economy::

Our economy is getting so effin bad, that there's regular employees stealing jobs from the immigrants. What is the world coming to. Sigh.

True Story.

Monday, September 22, 2008

:: A Mild Smell::

Today Morning I woke up and got ready for work. I drove myself to work and when I got there I prepared my usual cup of coffee and continue with my path to my work station. Along the way nothing interesting happened. It seem like any other regular day, yet something seem to be different. That feeling you get when you forget something. As I carry on with my task I start to notice a weird mild smell. I ignored for awhile. As the time flies by… hour after hour… this smell seem to get stronger and stronger. I would describe this unique odor as a dead raccoon stuffed with ricotta cheese. As the smell proceeded to my nostrils working it way into my brain cells, I was starting to develop a headache, feeling delirious, weak, emotional instability, an unsteady gait, and mini vomiting with some rage. mmMm it sounds sort of like Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy short for BSE or know also as the Mad Cow Disease (MCD). So this feeling/smell kept on going through out the day. As my shift end, it was time to take off. When I got home I realize that the smell was still with me. That’s when I decided to take drastic measurements, so I raise my hand up into the air and wave it all around just like you don’t care and turn my head slightly to the right in the position where my nose and my arm pit would meet. A distance of half an inch apart, so close that I could feel the hot temperature of my body. So I took a gigantic sniff and just then I almost went into a coma. I felt like my body was shutting down. It was me all long. I had forgotten to protect myself with the great defense of the deodorant. FUQ! How could I forget such an important thing? (Note to self, remember to wear deodorant.) So… yeah, I was sporting a natural oniony BO. Unbelievable!
True Story!